[AU] 8x07 Aftermath 'CAUSE WE CAN!!!

[jerkchester]

[ it's night and Dean is coping ]

[ with alcohol ]

Comments

[jerkchester]

But that's not what I want.

[freewill]

What do you want?

[jerkchester]

I want to go for miles in my car. [takes a deep breath] I want nothing but the wind and my music. I want to do the family business. And I want to know the things I have, I won't keep losing them. I want to know it's okay to be me and not ... lose.

[freewill]

[slowly, carefully, puts a hand against Dean's face, cupping his cheek]

[jerkchester]

Cas?

[freewill]

[pulls back]

When Sam gets back, you should take a drive. I can transport you and your car wherever you want, and you can enjoy the road. Just you and your car and your music.

[jerkchester]

...

[freewill]

Sam and I will be here when you get back, waiting.

[jerkchester]

[swallows]

[freewill]

... [sighs] I know it doesn't fix anything.

[jerkchester]

I-I don't know.

[freewill]

[still just... standing there]

I'm sorry.

[jerkchester]

God, I can't even believe that. That you'll be here.

[freewill]

I will. There's no reason for me to avoid you now.

[jerkchester]

...

[freewill]

... What now.

[jerkchester]

Cas, you can't expect me to flip on a switch and believe again.

[freewill]

... I meant more immediately than that.

[jerkchester]

I know what you meant. I just--I can't, okay? I just can't.

[freewill]

[squeezes his shoulder and then backs off]

[jerkchester]

I'm sorry.

[freewill]

You don't need to apologize. Do whatever you need to do, Dean. That's all.

[jerkchester]

[nods]

[freewill]

[glances to the bed] Maybe you should get some rest.

[jerkchester]

Yeah... okay.