[AU] 8x07 Aftermath 'CAUSE WE CAN!!!

[jerkchester]

[ it's night and Dean is coping ]

[ with alcohol ]

Comments

[freewill]

[Scrubs his hand down his face.]

Dean, I'm trying to understand.

[jerkchester]

You're not. And you know what? I prefer my version of events now. It beats knowing you'd pick Hell over me.

[freewill]

Dean, that wasn't--

[jerkchester]

Wasn't what? How you planned it? No, you thought me and Sam, we were just gonna forget about it? Move on? Because we're so good at that, right?

I didn't, you know. I never did for a second and I hate myself for holding onto someone who never wanted it to begin with.

[freewill]

I wanted you safe. That's all I wanted.

[jerkchester]

Well, I wanted you!

[jerkchester]

Looks like we both struck out.

[freewill]

[oh no, heart breaking]

...

[jerkchester]

[leaning against the wall]

I wish I didn't. God, I wish I didn't need anything anymore. I'm already empty. So why the hell does it still hurt? Hell, it's not even news at this point, it's reruns.

[freewill]

[steps toward Dean and places a hand on his shoulder, tentatively]

... I'm sorry. I'm always getting it wrong.

[jerkchester]

Don't touch me.

[freewill]

[pulls back]

[jerkchester]

I'm done, Cas.

[freewill]

I'm not leaving.

[jerkchester]

And I don't believe you.

[freewill]

You don't have to.

[jerkchester]

What the hell do you want, Cas?

[freewill]

Why do you think I'm asking for something?

[jerkchester]

I'm not falling for that bullshit anymore.

[freewill]

[sighs and turns half away]

I want to help you on your hunts. I want to help you stop Crowley. I want to help you keep the prophet safe.

[jerkchester]

["help you"]

Fine. Do whatever the hell you like.

[freewill]

I'm sorry that I hurt you. I'm not very good at being family.

[jerkchester]

...

[freewill]

I wasn't making a choice between you or Purgatory. I was charting out my own fate.

[jerkchester]

Was it worth it?